i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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