Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
