Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
