At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
