my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
should my penis look like a turkey
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
