Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
