Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
