Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
