Your mouth is God's brothel.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
