I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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