There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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