i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize