I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
