Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it was like eating out sand paper
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
