and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
