she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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