Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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