im gay
i know
yea but for you.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
