drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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