I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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