erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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