New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
