the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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