but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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