I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize