One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm sobbing to NWA
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