it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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