Soap is not a condiment
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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