Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
