I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
