After last night, I could never be a politician.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize