Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
