Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
