so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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