I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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