the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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