I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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