Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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