just come out here and I will go home with you...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
