He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
