Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
