The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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