dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
