It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
