Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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