Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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