Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
