I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
