What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
