So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
