So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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