If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
