I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We were destined to go to rehab together
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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