Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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