I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
