Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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