Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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