He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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