her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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