I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
