You're my little dorito
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
