Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
