It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
