I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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