He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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