Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
