The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just cropdusted the office
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
