a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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