I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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