Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
